NFL Liquor Cabinet Week 13

For the entire NFL season, we will be breaking down the rest of the NFL not named Green Bay by looking at it like a liquor cabinet. Why did we choose this method? I like to booze and it makes things really easy to determine what's great, average and poor. 

DON'T CRY KNOWSHON, WE HAVE THE LIQUOR CABINET!!! (H/T @bubbaprog)

TOP SHELF
Seattle... The northwest beast - This was the most anticipated Monday Night Football game of the season, and Seahawks blew the doors off New Orleans. They dominated from the start of the game to the end of it. I feel like this game snowballed for the Saints as Michael Bennett returned a fumble for a touchdown giving Seattle a 10 point advantage then New Orleans could not respond leading to another Seattle touchdown. Before you know it, they are up 17-0 rolling their way to victory. Russell Wilson made this heralded new Saints defense look completely silly. This is the NFC Super Bowl contender by leaps and bounds.

Nick Foles is the real deal - Chip Kelly found his quarterback which is basically comparable to Happy Gilmore learning how to putt. Foles might be the most consistent quarterback right now. He is not turning the ball over at all with zero interceptions. Foles has been over 60 percent in completion percentage in his last four games and in three of the four games, he averaged over 10 yards per pass. Foles makes Philadelphia a legit contender for the NFC East crown.

Peyton Manning dominates Arrowhead Stadium - I hate to talk about fantasy here, but after Manning threw his second interception, I bitched about his recent performances... WELP Manning went off for 400 yards with five touchdowns including four of them to Eric Decker, a player who has not had the biggest year for the Broncos. Manning sliced and diced Kansas City's secondary like a contestant on Chopped.  Manning won all three dishes and finished his cooking performance with an ice cold beer. He is easily the MVP of the season, and I do not think it is close.

Colin Kaepernick... Back? - I have been highly critical of Colin Kaepernick this season, but he looked much better against St. Louis, a tougher than credited defense, and it might be due to Michael Crabtree being back in the fold. Additionally, he looked good against Washington the week prior meaning maybe Kaepernick is starting to come on strong. In the last two games, he is completing nine yards per pass compared to four yards per pass in games before those ones. He also had his highest yard output with 275 yards since his Week 1 masterpiece against Green Bay. It will be fun to watch him against Seattle next week.

MIDDLE SHELF
Adrian Peterson dominates Chicago in a dumpster fire of a game - It is really tough being a Green Bay fan when Detroit has Calvin Johnson and Minnesota has Adrian Peterson, two of the most respected players in the league. These guys help their team look at least a little more tolerable. Peterson went over 10,000 yards for his career and rushed for over 200 yards against Chicago in a win on Sunday. As for the game, it came down to who made the last mistake and it was Chicago.
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New England avoids a letdown with another big second half - Once again, Patriots started slow as Houston l.ed 17-7 at halftime. But once again, New England had a massive second half with 27 points giving them 61 points in the last two games in the second half.  Tom Brady threw for 371 yards spreading it around with 15 catches between Rob Gronkowski and Julian Edelman both notching over 100 yards. Poor Houston, now the worst team in the league.

No reason to buy Indianapolis - I might have to convince my buddy Eric to get back into gambling when it comes playoff time. People need to bet all over the place on the Colts. They are not a playoff team. Indianapolis could beat Cincinnati next week and they are still not real. Only two of the AFC probable division winners are real threats, the Colts are not a real team. Before Reggie Wayne, Andrew Luck had only one game with a QB rating of under 70 and now three of his last four games have been under 70.

BOTTOM SHELF
Vernon Davis gets tackled by the penis - San Francisco tight end Vernon Davis had a big game, but he would like to make playing tackling guys by the penis, illegal.  I think it makes sense.



Cincinnati-San Diego deserved to be blacked out - What an awful football game. I do not want to type any more words about it. San Diego is officially not real. Andy Dalton is an average quarterback.

JEFF TRIPLETTE... LADIES AND GENTS - I explained multiple times on how bad Jeff Triplette is as an official. I have no idea why he has a job. In the New York-Washington game, Triplette incorrectly called a first down then took it back while in the process denying Mike Shananhan's request for a measurement meaning this caused Washington to lose this game. What a disaster.

Buffalo cannot win in Toronto - Since 2008, Buffalo agreed to play one home game in Toronto and they have only won one of them. It seemed like they had this one in the bag, but Atlanta got a gift of a pass interference call in the last two minutes leading to the Falcons tying the game late and winning it in overtime.

Rex Ryan welcomes himself back on the hot seat - Remember when everyone talked about how impressive it was New York found themselves at .500?  Now, Geno Smith has not completed double-digits completions since late October and this leads to people talking about Ryan's employment. Basically, what I am saying is... WE ARE BACK BABY.

Charlie.